Top Quotes From #CLA13: Christian Leadership Alliance Conference

This year’s Christian Leadership Alliance Conference was held in Anaheim, CA. Here are some of the most popular quotes from the #CLA13 Twitter feed (the tweet author is mentioned first):


@CLALeader: @DrHenryCloud “prune to make yourself more fruitful.

@ShannonDBarnes: Peter Drucker called the pruning “passionate abandonment.” That abandonment is absolutely key to strategic/mission progress.

@ShannonDBarnes: Leaders – prune your life, prune your teams, prune your programs, prune your organization to focus on what is most fruitful.

@kosts: @DrHenryCloud  There is a time to end things. Necessary endings are part of leadership.

@HurleyTravis: There are seasons of restoration that brings us through over and over in our lives. ~ Dr. Henry Cloud

@ShannonDBarnes: Leaders, God initiates endings and new seasons. We must be willing to end something to begin another.

@HurleyTravis: You need faith to create a necessary ending to your current season, so God can bring you into the next one. ~ Dr. Henry Cloud

@jennylockwald: Leadership is full of necessary endings. We have to be willing to let go.

@ShannonDBarnes: Leaders – why don’t we make the changes that are necessary? Often it’s because we’re emotionally attached to what used to be.

@jennylockwald: If God is calling us to let go, are we holding on because we don’t trust the source?

@kosts: @DrHenryCloud   Leaders fail to prune because they are hoarders–fear of loss and control.

@HollyMDuncan: Leadership growth steps are taken when we let go of the good stuff to make room for the great stuff @DrHenryCloud

@HollyMDuncan: Leadership Courage means stepping up to do the hard stuff.  @DrHenryCloud

@ShannonDBarnes: Acting to restore, AND acting to remove, both take leadership courage.

@ShannonDBarnes: Leaders – are we willing to address the people/situations that are bottle-necking our mission outcomes?

@ShannonDBarnes: The 80/20 rule says that a small part of our efforts produce the majority of our results. Focus on the high-impact part

@ShannonDBarnes: Christian leaders often take “the faith card” & hold it in front of their eyes instead of making hard choices.

@chadw5Q: “Whatever you do, finish strong.” – @TamiHeim

@iandavidbanks: Less than 25% of Christian nonprofit leaders have any theological training. Thoughts?

@iandavidbanks: As a Christian leader you must be able to serve your people with spiritual mentoring. It also helps to be mentored.

@benitateems: RT @CLALeader: I am greatly flawed, fully forgiven, and highly favored. @ellielofaro

@ScottBrownCLA: Dr. Bruce McNicol: it is up to the leader to nurture an environment of trust

@iandavidbanks: Be intentional about developing the character aspect of people -Donald Mountan

@AnitaStadler: Your calling is where God is inviting you to invest.

@MarkTjernagel: “Humility is trusting God and others with me.” bruce mcnicol

@jasoncaston: Happiness is about the circumstance, the externals, and based on situation. Joy is so much more – Ellie Lofaro

@CareNetCadillac: You can use words to change the directions of someone’s day. Phyllis Hendry

@matthewnasekos: “The measure of an authentic leader is how similar the leader reflects Christ.”

@donnalwilson: All things work for good, not all things are good–Ellie Lofaro

@TamiHeim: Spiritual mentors connect us to what God is doing in our lives. – Leighton Ford

@ShannonDBarnes: Great question for leaders: “What is your vision? What would it be if you had one?

@CLALeader: What are your dreams, what are your fears? @leightonford

@HurleyTravis: Spiritual directing is not spiritual dictatorship. ~ Dr. Leighton Ford

@jefftanner: Your calling is not always logical. What great “mistake” are you being called to make?

@ShannonDBarnes: Is frenzied busyness our number one value? What do we talk about?

@CherylLeeDavis: Dr. Leighton Ford says deep listening is best way to practice spiritual mentoring. Called it hospitality of the heart.

@jgelliott62: We are in a state of continuous partial attention. Leighton Ford

@ShannonDBarnes: Being challenged to “cease striving” – stop, wait, listen, and walk alongside others in that same journey.

@jefftanner: Leaders: our task isn’t to keep people busy but to keep them from being so busy that they can no longer listen to their calling.

@matthewnasekos: Are we so busy that we do not listen to God?

@Craig_Dutch: It doesn’t have to be well with your circumstances to be well with your soul. Ellie Lafaro

@jeremydjohnson1: The job of the leader is to get reality ~ Dr John Townsend

@TamiHeim: We need spiritual mentors to disrupt the busyness of our life and help us turn back to the voice of God.

@iandavidbanks: Definition of the hard way: doing what is best rather than what is comfortable to achieve an outcome @drjohntownsend

@jefftanner: Leaders: repeat things, work plans, listen more, ask for help, delegate, initiate hard talks, disappoint others. J. Townsend

@CLALeader: Good is an enemy of great. @johntownsend

@ShannonDBarnes: Leaders, there’s a difference between a gift and a responsibility. Live into both.

@iandavidbanks: Just because its not on your strengths finder doesn’t mean you can’t do something @drjohntownsend

@TamiHeim: A leader must do what is best, rather than what is comfortable, to reach on outcome. – @drjohntownsend

@ShannonDBarnes: Habits, under-resourced, entitlement or fear of failure? What is the reason you and your team are taking the easy way?

@iandavidbanks: People identify with a vulnerable leader. @drjohntownsend

@SLitton: “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”

@ShannonDBarnes: The saddest people in the world are the people who avoid pain.

@matthewnasekos: Leaders do things the hard way. There are no shortcuts! @drjohntownsend

@matthewnasekos: There is great cost in doing things the easy way @drjohntownsend

@matthewnasekos: Leaders do what doesn’t come naturally @drjohntownsend

@iandavidbanks: Stewardship decisions are made based on what you have, not what you do not have. – Gary Hoag

@DerrickHoog: “If you had to do your entire ministry online what would you do?” @maurilio @Agroup

@DerrickHoog: “Be intentional about your digital strategy. Your website is not just an expense. It’s a ministry must!” @Agroup @maurilio

@CLALeader: Authentic leaders are identified by others. If you are the real thing, you do not have to say it, others will. @israelgaither

@CareNetCadillac: You can use words to change the directions of someone’s day. Phyllis Hendry

@TamiHeim: You can hear the Voice of God through the voice of an authentic leader. -Israel Gaither


@iandavidbanks: In 2012 smartphones pass 50% mobile market share (thats smartphones vs. normal phones)

@iandavidbanks: 48% of people surveyed never turned their phones off.

iandavidbanks: 29% of tablet users are 55+.

@iandavidbanks: Do you know what the mobile usage on your website is?

@ErikMorsehead: “Many #brands know what they do, not why they do it.” -Elizabeth West

@iandavidbanks: An authentic leader is genuine and reliable. – Ellie Lofaro

@TamiHeim: The environment you create as a leader makes a difference.-P.Lencioni

@ShannonDBarnes: Behaviors always proceed results. Patrick Lencioni

@ShannonDBarnes: Henry Blackaby: “Servant leadership allows humility to overcome incompetence.

@iandavidbanks: Start paddling before the wave hits you. But get the timing right.

@ShannonDBarnes: The more you want to be seen as genuine, the less genuine you’ll appear.

@ShannonDBarnes: Authentic leaders are present with us and help others pull their own real selves out.

@ShannonDBarnes: Authentic leaders know their strengths and are committed to using their strengths. They also know where they weak & need to work.

@hamstra: “Your CEO, executives and board are not your customers!” – @coreyagordon

@DavidgCurry: “Behaviors always proceed results” Patrick Lencioni

@CareNetCadillac: War generation, boomers, Xers, Millenials. All audiences give differently.

@TamiHeim: Instruction for life: pay attention, be astonished, & tell about it. -Mary Oliver

@CareNetCadillac: A ministry should never stick it’s head in the sand.

@TamiHeim: You will impact the world thru people not programs. -Leighton Ford

@ShannonDBarnes: “Being in over your head as a leader keeps you reliant on God.” @JenniCatron

@magictwicks: To leaders: If your team cannot mimic you when you’re not around you’re not communicating enough -P.Lencioni

@chadw5Q: “Great leaders are great CRO’s = Chief Reminder Officer.” @patricklencioni

@matthewnasekos: Org. Health: minimize politics & confusion, keep high morale & productivity, low turnover @tablegroup

@Agroup: People need to be reminded more than they need to be instructed. ~ Samuel Johnson

@hamstra: Patrick Lencioni emphasizing what I’ve seen over and over: the touchy-feely human element is crucial to getting good work done.

@ShannonDBarnes: “No” is the second best answer. Clarity, decision making…is your team empowered to do do it?

@Kyle1219: “Love isn’t always nicety nice, its kind and honest” – Lencioni

@donnalwilson: Joy is the permanent possession of every believer no matter the circumstances-Ellie Lofaro

@ShannonDBarnes: The world is full of organizations that stray from their mission/purpose for other, lesser demands.

@ShannonDBarnes: Key filter for organizational choice: Is this true to the reason we started this organization.

@Shawnmanley: RT @davidgcurry: “Healthy teams create clarity.” Patrick Lencioni.

@Shawnmanley: Tech advantaged used to last 20 years. I think it’s now about 3 weeks. @patricklencioni

@matthewnasekos: Just spoke with @patricklencioni – key takeaway from him personally: demonstrates sincere interest in people.

@danalbyers: RT @tamiheim: Give people freedom to engage in healthy confrontation. – P. Lencioni

@TamiHeim: Give people freedom to engage in healthy confrontation. – P. Lencioni

@RomneyRuder: Prayer is the bed rock of all leadership initiatives.

@ShannonDBarnes: We have confused Joy for the modern idea of happiness. One is about circumstance and externals. The other is not.

@matthewnasekos: Joy has nothing to do with our circumstances

@Hansensays: Recollection is an ingredient of joy – Ellie Lofaro

@ShannonDBarnes: Leaders, when you reflect, what do you choose to remember? Is it painful, or a source of Joy?

@ShannonDBarnes: For all of us, in all parts of our lives and ministries, what do we choose to remember? Recollection is a method of Joy.

@mike_gerlicher: Next generation is looking for a passionate Cause … they will join in. The day of Hierarchy is gone. Partnerships are the future.

@jwhandley: “Humility is the gateway to authenticity” – Bruce McNicol CEO Forum

@TamiHeim: If I don’t trust you, you can’t love me, no matter how much you love me. -Bruce McNicol

@iandavidbanks: If you don’t have people who can collaborate, it won’t matter who they report to…they can’t be effective.

@iandavidbanks: When you put things in the cloud, you need to ask the question, “what happens to my data?

@ShannonDBarnes: We must spend time in the shoes of the people we serve. Empathy is essential for solutions.

@AaronZiebarth: Our organizations should be safe communities, not soft communities – Dr. Bruce McNicol

@mike_gerlicher: If you can’t, or won’t, work with a TEAM your leadership is doomed.  Learn to recruit, develop, resource and lead your team.

@ShannonDBarnes: As the leader goes, so goes the organization. As the soul of the leader goes, so goes the leader.

@TamiHeim: What we do for Christ is not above being in love with Christ. – Israel Gaither

@juliejwoodruff: Jesus said, Do you love me more than these?” What are the ‘these’ in your life? –Israel Gaither

@CLALeader: If your relationship with Christ depends on just fondness, you are a vulnerable prey for the enemy. @israelgaither

@rhbates: I am so glad Jesus looked beyond what I am not, to what I can become in Him. Israel Gaither

@TamiHeim: If the Holy Spirit asks, will you release it ALL over to him? -Israel Gaither

@SynergyWN: God’s destiny for me is greater than all my strategic plans.


@CLALeader: New blog post: Day One #CLA2013

@CLALeader: Check out the photos from day one of #CLA2013

@HurleyTravis: “I recommend ‘In the Name of Jesus’ by Henri Nouwen for meditation on authentic leadership.” – Ellie Lofaro

RT @DerrickHoog: If you’d like to see the video that opened the conference one more time here you go

RT @CLALeader: The video from yesterday is now on our blog! @TamiHeim


@chadw5Q: “Time should be our servant, not our master.” @wess_stafford

@CLALeader: Joy is a decision that you make beyond circumstances. @wessstafford

@chadw5Q: “Never say ‘yes’ to something new just to be nice.” @wess_stafford

@chadw5Q: “Hope is not dictated by circumstances.”  @wess_stafford

@KKWildman: If you lead without hope no one will follow you. @wesstafford

@Hope4Bibleless: Authentic leadership majors on joy, hope, giving and receiving like Jesus modeled. Acts 20:35 @wess_stafford

@chadw5Q: “Leaders need to learn to receive, as well as to give. ” @wess_stafford

@HollyMDuncan: “If God gives you courage or strength, it’s not for you–it’s for the others in your life.” Wess Stafford

@ShannonDBarnes: You cannot make people follow you. If you do not earn it, they will stop following.

@ShannonDBarnes: If you don’t love the people that you lead, then you should not be leading them.

@chadw5Q: “Leadership only appears about 6 times in scripture. Servanthood permeated scripture. ‘Moses my servant‘ ” @wess_stafford

@ShannonDBarnes: If you do not have a cause that is bigger than you, that cannot move you tears in 30 seconds, you are not fully alive.

@chadw5Q: “At the core of authentic leadership is servanthood.” @wess_stafford

@CLALeader: As a leader, if you lack integrity, you lack everything. @wessstafford

@ShannonDBarnes: If you do not have a cause that is bigger than you, that cannot move you tears in 30 seconds, you are not fully alive.

@ShannonDBarnes: The front line is the mission-fulfillment line. Leadership exists to serve them.

@ShannonDBarnes: Leadership is a gift. It is what people give you who agree to follow you. If they stop following you, you may be the last to know.

@HollyMDuncan: Authentic Leadership: Higher Thinking. Greater Purpose. Kingdom Outcomes.

@SchreinerPamela: Christians should be the standard for excellence in the marketplace.

@jasoncaston: The call for authentic christian leadership is only getting louder as this world is getting noisier! – @TamiHeim

@branddelight: 5 minutes before God speaks it looks bad, 5 minutes after it is great Dan B. / Oz G. #CLA2013

@CLALeader: There is a greater need for Authentic leaders now more than ever in history. @TamiHeim

@AaronZiebarth: It doesn’t matter how many goals you set. What matters is that your vital few goals are achieved with excellence.

@jasoncaston: Time and flexibility motivate newer generations more than money, they wanna work on their time and location  – @TimElmore

@jasoncaston: The newer generations want to know the “why” moreso than anything. That’s what sets them apart from previous – @TimElmore

@hamstra: Nonprofit industry’s preoccupation for reaching the young, specifically Gen Y, may be wholly misplaced. – Moy & Starks

@TamiHeim: When you share the mirror to your soul, you give others the permission to see their own. – @TimElmore

@AaronZiebarth: Bad Culture eats good strategy for lunch – Al Lopus

@jasoncaston: Methods come and go, missions stay the same. Programs come and go, purpose stays the same – @timelmore

@jameslansberry: What’s not working in the budget process?  Use that list as a roadmap for training needs.

@joshuaclarkpics: If speaking and preaching would have solved the worlds problems, wouldn’t they be solved by now. @TimElmore

@joshuaclarkpics: If I exists to glorify God, how can my business not? @jeremiahcillpam

@TamiHeim: Jesus mentored by way of instruction, demonstration, experience & assessment. – @TimElmore

@jasoncaston: Wise leaders use what is cultural to say what is timeless – @timelmore

@jasoncaston: Jesus I.D.E.A. for mentoring – I=Instruction, D=Demonstration, E=Experience, A=Assessment

@TamiHeim: The next generation is looking for a transformational experience. -@TimElmore

@jasoncaston: With every generation, the demand for speed, space and expectation goes up, change the method, not the message – @timelmore

@jasoncaston: Disney, Chucky Cheese, Starbucks, Nordstrom sells the experience, to reach Gen X we must promote the experience – @timelmore

@jasoncaston: If we are serious bout reaching the world we have to reach the Millennials/Gen Y – @timelmore

@jasoncaston: Part of your job description as leaders is to develop people, prepare a new generation of leaders – @timelmore

@AaronZiebarth: Healthy Ministries tend to be Fruitful Ministries – Al Lopus

@jasoncaston: Current leaders, we are not finished with our job until we have prepared a new set of leaders! – @timelmore

@hamstra: Nonprofits struggle with implementing consequences for employee non-behavior. – Ken Moy

@jameslansberry: Budget needs to be timely, accurate, participatory and strategic.

@jameslansberry: Word budget comes from MidFrench bougette, “bag”.

@kosts: A Brand is a promised user experience; how you treat people in ministry (& fundraising) becomes what your Name stands for.

@iandavidbanks: The non profits that do well are the ones who do one thing extraordinarily well. @PhilCooke

@amyehurtado: “Don’t give them what they want – give them what they never dreamed possible.” @PhilCooke

@TamiHeim: Lord make me a somebody who begs you to touch a needy world.

@dedraherod: Social Media is important. We need to stop thinking about missions in global terms and start thinking in digital terms. @PhilCooke

@jasoncaston: More than 85% of Internet users watch video regularly (20 yr olds and 55 yr olds) – @PhilCooke

@jeremydjohnson1: Awesome Quote – “Old people want to be cool too!” @PhilCooke

@jasoncaston: Video is the most popular marketing strategy for companies – @PhilCooke

@TamiHeim: Speak the language of design. – @PhilCooke

@dedraherod: Everything you do communicates a message. – @PhilCooke

@dedraherod: Does your style and media choices reflect the group you’re trying to reach? @PhilCooke

@iandavidbanks: Understand the power of a name. If your name doesn’t resonate, with so many choices, they will move to a name they recognize.

@iandavidbanks: You cannot brand a LIE – The internet is absolutely unforgiving. In a digital age we need to be more transparent than ever!

@hamstra: “In a media driven culture, visibility is just as important as ability.” – @PhilCooke

@mike_gerlicher: What is your Story? How does your story Break through?

@mike_gerlicher: Today’s audience wants to be a part of a 2-way conversation @PhilCooke

@Shawnmanley: The average American TV is on for 8hrs 18min/day. The average American sleeps for 6hrs 40 min/day. #somethingiswrong @philcooke

@mike_gerlicher: “Do ONE BIG THING in an extraordinary way.” @PhilCooke

@Hansensays: “Great enemy of meaningful communications in the 21st century – clutter” @PhilCooke

@iandavidbanks: How you share your message is just as important as the message itself.

@Hope4Bibleless: Key question in showing authentic appreciation. Ask colleagues, “What is the best specific way to encourage you?” Paul White

@rhbates: We leave a legacy whether we choose to or not. The legacy you leave starts with you.

@SchreinerPamela: Feedback is the breakfast of champions. – Ken Blanchard

@Hope4Bibleless: Giving personalized gifts to staff is one of five Languages of Appreciation Paul White

The Christian Leadership Alliance holds its leadership conference annually. More information:



Top 10 Orange Conference Quotes

Orange Blog Rob CizekEach year thousands of children’s and student ministers gather in Atlanta for the Orange Conference. Orange is the idea that parents and the church work in partnership with each other to develop kids spiritually.

Below you will find top quotes from this year’s conference (as seen in the #OC13 Twitter feed). Pay special attention to the resource section, where you will find Orange Conference notes:


10. @cnieuwhof: “When you see the time you have left you value the time you have now.” @reggiejoiner

9. @mattmckee: “Don’t hold each other accountable. Hold each other close.” – @bobgoff

8. @amochrie: “Look how they love one another, is more powerful than “look how right they are

7. @gina_mcclain: U don’t have 2 make everyone else’s problem your problem. @DougFields

6. @sarahinman: “Let kids create their own faith, not inherit it.” @JonAcuff

5. @iamkylenelson: If God has called you into ministry, he has also called you into facing obstacles – Jeanne Stevens

4. @toddclark: Loving your family is the greatest sermon you will ever preach. – @jimwideman

3. @ninaschmidgall: “Laughter fast forwards friendships.” – @JonAcuff

2. @mattmckee: “Busyness is the enemy of the abundant life and hurry is the enemy of rest.” – @DougFields

1. @katiehlnstnr: The foundation of our faith is an event in HISTORY, not a story from a storybook. @AndyStanley


@nickblevins: Orange Conference: Session 1 Notes

@nickblevins: Orange Conference: Session 7 Notes

@cnieuwhof: Speaking notes for my talk “Gaining Ground: Leading Change Amidst Opposition”from #oc13:

@tapounder: My notes from the “Clarifying the Win” Session at #oc13

@BrianKDodd: 47 Leadership Lessons On Social Media From @JonAcuff – Notes From The Orange Conference ’13

@jimwideman: Going over my notes for #OC13 do you want them? Download here

@CraigJutila: Download The Notes for “5 Reasons Why People Won’t Volunteer For You.”

@BrianKDodd: 41 Leadership Quotes From @AndyStanley – Live Notes From Orange Conference ’13

@erinhanson2000: How many weeks do you have left to influence your kids and leave your legacy?  Download Countdown app

@trevormclee: Follow These Blogs During Orange 2013 –

@Brent_Dumler: If you aren’t yet, you need to be reading this blog. @cnieuwhof

@cnieuwhof: For your team at #OC13 or #exponential: how to avoid 5 conference traps almost every team falls into:

@KidMin360: 7 Great Books For Parents

@RichardsonJohnD: Free for all #OC13 participants – Parent Shift: How to Raise Spiritually Healthy Children.

@BrentMcQuay: Shoot Christians Say. Greatest video ever

@NorthshoreCC: Northwest & BC churches-The Orange Tour is in Seattle  9/16-17! @ReggieJoiner & @OrangeLeaders are at @NorthshoreCC:


@mattmckee: “Kids don’t care about your ability. They care about your availability.” – @PerryNoble

@michael_bayne: Same actions lead to same results. – @jimwideman

@yancynotnancy: Your brain was wired to connect with stories. Jesus taught with stories. @reggiejoiner

@SecondChairLead: God deals with us over-time. He pursues us over-time, loves us over-time, provides over-time. @reggiejoiner

@angelaBedwards: What you do this week matters. What you do for a kid matters. Time matters.

@pastorpdub: Please cherish the time you have with your children because it will not be like this for long!

@ajasonhart: When we love kids over time we give them a sense of worth. @reggiejoiner

@mattmckee: “One kind act is better than 1000 good intentions.” – @ninaschmidgall

@hekirtle: The moment you prioritize the approach over the goal, you’re out of business. – @AndyStanley

@radicalparents: “This culture uses humor as a vehicle for truth.” @jonacuff

@Barbaragraves: You were created to have fun! – @ReggieJoiner

@jeffbrodie: Until you are having fun with a child, they are not sure you like them. @reggiejoiner

@WilliamAttaway: Eliminate all competing programming to the main strategy – do less to accomplish more.

Orange has excellent resources and conferences. We use Orange at our church and I highly recommend it. More information on Orange:



Top 10 Quotes From The Exponential Church Planting & Discipleship Conference

This year’s Exponential Conference was the largest yet. It sold out 5,300 seats at First Baptist Orlando. Another 40,000 people from 90 countries watched the live stream and commented in the #Exponential Twitter stream. These are the top quotes from that stream (tweet author is noted before each quote):

Jim Putman's new book "Discipleshift" debuted at the Exponential Conference. Discipleshift was also the Exponential Conference theme.

Jim Putman’s new book “Discipleshift” debuted at the Exponential Conference. Discipleshift was also the Exponential Conference theme.

10. @ThomasPauk: One who learns from the master is a student, one who’s wanting to live like the master is a disciple. – C. Kalinowski

9. @mosaicpastor: “State your vision. Stage your vision. Staff your vision.” @PastorRay

8. @mosaicpastor: “Jesus didn’t say your church wins or my church wins. He said that his church wins.” – Jim Putnam

7. @justinbowers2: “Teachers hate large classrooms.  Why is it that every pastor wants what every teacher hates?”

6. @churchplanting: Jesus’ mission is not to make converts; it never has been. His mission is to make disciples. – Jim Putman

5. @craigbrown65: If you don’t think you have issues, that’s your issue. – Chris Hodges

4. @churchplanting: We make the church like a theater and are then surprised when people respond like theater goers. – Ed Stetzer

3. @robcizek: Jesus is the greatest disciple-maker in history. How many disciples did he have? – Jim Putman

2. @keruxsm: We teach what we know, we reproduce what we are.

1. @momentumcc: “Your greatest contribution to the kingdom maybe those u r tucking in at night.” Wes Stafford (Your kids are your most important disciples.)

More great quotes:

@RonEdmonson: “Public charisma without private character will ruin you as a leader.” @waynecordeiro

@danieljfick: From leadership perspective, it shouldn’t be “we can do it & you can help,” but “you can do it & we can help.

@johncremeans: People don’t need a perfect example, they need a living example. – @Mike_Breen

@churchplanting: Technology can inspire, encourage, and teach. Technology can’t reproduce. – @waynecordeiro

@mosaicpastor: When we work, we work. When we pray, God works. – @jsorvik

@RobJacobs_: Leaders are creators and curators of culture. You are not just planting a church you are planting a culture.

@SisJessMarquez: “You can’t separate the teachings of Jesus from the methods of Jesus and expect the results of Jesus.”

@MikeCelebrating: Jesus only mentions church a few times in the gospels but mentions disciples 260 times.

@NewThingNetwork: “Live your life as a missions trip.” – Reggie McNeal

@ericbryant: “Never delegate to someone who wants a title. Delegate to someone who wants to do the work.” – @SledgeHS

My notes from Larry Osborne’s breakout session “Discipleship in the Real World” #Exponential13 – @ChurchPlanting

@cnieuwhof: For your team at #exponential: how to avoid 5 conference traps almost every team falls into:

The Exponential Conference is held annually. has great discipleship and church planting resources, including several free ebooks.



Tools To Strengthen a Leader’s Marriage

Would you like some quality tools for your relational toolbox? I would. That’s why I recently attended the Intimate Mystery marriage conference at The Seattle School. Noted relationship experts Dan Allender and Steve Call provided these excellent ideas:

hands-62772_640> The 4 biggest areas of conflict in a marriage: children, money, in-laws & sex.

> 70% of conflicts in marriage have no simple answer. Acknowledge that there is no easy fix and be willing to put in some work to solve the problem.

> There is no finish line to marriage work. It takes work through every year of a marriage.

> Wherever you choose to not walk in your marriage, evil will flourish.

> Pay attention to “family of origin” issues. We relate to each other in part through our experiences growing up. Each spouse had a family of origin (home they grew up in). Sometimes things weren’t healthy growing up and those issues can affect a marriage.

> When there is an absence of trust there is growing suspicion.

> It is not failure in relationship we should worry about, but the inability to repair relationship.

> A remarkable illustration: When a parent turns their gaze away from their baby (doesn’t respond to their child), the baby becomes anxious. The baby will express its displeasure with increasingly loud efforts to get the parent’s attention. The anxiety ends when the parent’s gaze returns. A spouse becomes anxious when they don’t have the attention of the other spouse (and will increasingly act out their displeasure). Similarly, the anxiety ends when the spouse’s attention returns. It’s important that we are fully present when talking with our spouse. Watch this brief and powerful video example called “Still Face Experiment”:

> Texting and social media on mobile phones are difficult in relationships because they take your spouse’s gaze away. This creates anxiety. The person texting has the power because they are ignoring the other person’s expressed need.

> The most vulnerable time is when we express our need because our spouse can reject it.

> When bringing up our needs, add ‘I would like to _____’ when asking for what you want.  Invite instead of demand what we want.

> It is impossible to meet all the needs of my spouse all the time, but I need to be aware of them.

> Availability and consistency of response makes for secure attachment to each other.

> Marriage is about extremes, not problem-free living. In a marriage it is normal to experience the extremes of joy and pain, of heaven and hell.

> The pain we are going through now will ultimately be for our good.

> Reflect on contempt. Contempt is the core issue behind divorce.  How much contempt is there in your marriage?

> Kindness deflates rage.

> Words last a lifetime. Good words and bad.

> You are a good reader of your spouse’s face. You could write paragraphs about what is being said in one look.

> What do you want to say to your spouse, family and friends before you die? Find a way to say it.

These are just a sample of what was presented in this excellent weekend conference. You can learn more in these resources from The Seattle School:

4 Things Leaders Should Learn From Reality TV’s “Counting Cars”

What’s your first thought when you see someone dressed like a biker? I’ll bet it’s not “Hey, I could learn to be a better boss from THAT guy!”

Counting Cars Cast

Danny Koker (center) and the Counting Cars cast.

There is a boss you can learn from who wears motorcycle outfits to work every day. His name is Danny Koker.  You can see him in action on the History Channel’s Counting Cars.

The reality show is set in a Las Vegas hot rod shop. It’s worth tuning in to watch Koker solve problems.  Here are four management lessons you’re likely to see:

1. If someone is pushing your buttons, ask questions. Koker’s employees are constantly making mistakes. The workers generally have the shop’s best interest at heart, but their actions can be ill-informed and cost Koker money. You frequently see Koker’s frustration. But rather than yelling, he starts asking the employee questions. Using the Socratic technique of asking intentional questions, he patiently leads the employee to right outcome.

2. Speak with a smile in your voice. Across the board, members of the Count’s Customs’ leadership team speak with positive energy and a ‘smile in their voice’. Koker is the best at it, but General Manager Kevin Mack and Shop Manager Scott Jones are good too. Watch and learn from these guys.

3. Encourage the ‘Joie de Viere’: Counts Customs is filled with the pressures and stress of business. Still Koker’s leadership sets a tone. There are many moments of laughter, celebration and humanity. Everyone loves to work where there is a joy to life.

4. Don’t judge a book by its cover (or an entrepreneur by his sleeveless shirt.) The Count’s Customs guys don’t dress like mainstream businesspeople. Some might dismiss them based on their appearance or their offbeat business. But that would be a mistake. Abe Lincoln said, “You can learn something from everyone.”  It’s true whether that person wears Armani or a dew rag.

More information on Counting Cars:

Key words: leadership, management, lessons, counting, cars, #countingcars, @DannyCountKoker, @history

Photo used by permission. Special thanks to Michelle Ciciyaxvili at History.